Imperfections

I have been battling inside. My thoughts. My actions. My words.
I told myself that I was going to make this blog my journal, no matter who read it, no matter what they thought.  So here it goes.

I have always tried to learn from others and today I read this post from Clover Lane a blog I follow and it's exactly what I needed. 

Not only what I wanted to hear but needed to be reminded of for myself.  These past couple years have been the hardest in some aspects of being judged, criticized, ridiculed, ignored. But on the other hand they have been great if I look at the blessings in my life, the relationships that I have worked on, the true friends that I have made.  But through it all, it's made me, ME.  The good, the bad, and the down right hideousnous! 

I think I have known this for a while now, but I'm tired, and I want to change my angry heart.  These simple words from a complete stranger helped me. I know that there are probably several friends, neighbors, family, etc that could probably have told me the same thing, but it's just funny sometimes how things come about.  I have been hurt in my life. I have hurt others. But lately it dawned on me "duh Amy, what you are looking for from someone else, an apology or what have you, you need to do yourself.  The second I take the focus of what I need and realize what I can do for others your heart starts to heal. 

You have three names in life:

the name you were given at birth,
the name that you make for yourself,
and the name that everyone knows you by.
That last one is the most important, because it is the name that you must work the hardest to change.
She would then ask me, "Do you want to be known as a Liar, Cheater, Thief (or jaded, mean, bitter)?
Or Generous, Kind Hearted and Loving?"