Oops I've done it again!

When you're sick with food poisoning for three days, things tend to get a little out of control.  And trust me it's not what you think.... 

Casey was AMAZING!  Checking on me, completely taking care of Olivia, literally locking me in the room so I could catch up on no sleep for one night.  He did laundry, he did dishes, he did meals. I know enough of the luvy duvy crap but I just have to praise him for stepping up (he is always helpful regardless).  

No this is what happens when you are locked up for three days and you are out of breath when you put your hair in a ponytail. I have a greater appreciation for my health trust me!!  I felt like a caged animal and I couldn't resist having a little fun with O today.  

I'd like to think that her first picture she is thinking "Oh my good gosh what is my mother doing to me now?"  

And the second "Um can you quickly take the picture and quit laughing at my expense, you're embarrassing me in front of my friends"

This is also what happens when you daughter has two sandwiches covered in Nutella!

I saw something on Studio 5 the other day when they were talking about cleaning supplies and how you should only have 5 key ones to clean your entire house.

Um yea, I clearly have a problem with buying to many cleaning supplies. I guess I failed that test!!

Why me? Oh yea it's called Motherhood!

Why me? Oh yea it's called Motherhood!!
This is what I thought today as the following happened to me. I'm telling you the strangest things happen to me and I had to post this tonight before I forgot/blocked it out of my mind. 

So I have sporadically decided to paint my kitchen table thus the need to run to the local Amy Twitty Toy Land also referred to as Home Depot.  As we entered I have to admit the thought did cross my mind, "uh Olivia hasn't gone to the bathroom for a while, I will go while in the store" and continued on my way to the Candy Land of color selections. 

I was in need of advice from the employee and there was a nice old man who kindly offered me assistance. However I do have to say it was taking a while and Olivia was running around like a monkey with other children her size.  I thought, "oh who cares, I need answers people" and kept one eye on her. 

After finally getting pointed into the right direction of the 18 products I was going to need, all of a sudden, I SMELT SOMETHING, SOMETHING AWFUL!! And I knew it, right then and there. We mothers know "THE SMELL", I'm referring to the distinct smell of our own children's POO!  Sad but true.

As this awful smell is elevating to my face and I notice the kind old man can smell it to. But he looks at me odd, then it dawns on me, he thinks I PASSED GAS!!  How do I explain this?  I don't want to admit that my dear sweet daughter has just relieved herself. 

Of course the restroom is at the other end of the store, so I decide to just wait 2 more minutes while my paint for my paint to be ready. No need in the rush the deed is done in her pants already. Besides costumers are backing away and clearing the aisles to make way for us, so that is nice for aisle congestion. 

Finally I think I can't take it any longer and neither can she. I notice she has creatively hiked her dress in the back up in her crack apparently to get creative and block the stench for a few seconds. 

And here's the kicker......

I go to pull the dress down from between her underwear and POO FALLS ON THE GROUND!  I'm not talking a small deer pebble poo, this is nasty and I will spare you anymore details but it was down right nasty!  I am embarrassed and I can tell so is she.  I hesitate for a moment then look up at these two fine men who are helping me and I can see the shock in their eyes. I kindly ask for some paper towels to clean up my mess and earn my keep! 

Thank goodness they are concrete floors for easy cleanup, I'm not considering installing concrete floors through my entire house.  So needless to say I ask my daughter, who shall remain anonymous, to walk swiftly but not to swiftly to the bathroom.  Thankfully I had a spare pair of undies with me. 

I may never be asked to enter the local Home Depot again. I may never want to enter a Home Depot again. I think they may have had to call Hazmat in to clean up the restroom!  So I will chalk this one up for the record books of motherhood! I love it, however, I wouldn't change it for the world. 

A little bit of Country

This is about as country ye haw that we get around here. Besides the fact that we drive by horses and cows everyday, and occasionally you may hear a  little bit of Rascal Flatts, Keith Urban, or Kenny Chesney on the i tunes that's about it.  I have always loved the cow girl look, I would love to own a pair of real boots one day.  But apparently in our house we settle for a Dollar Store hat and a bulldog as a horse.  Giddy up!

HEAD MOVE NOW!!!

So I we are officially the cruelest parents on the face of this earth!!! See below for proof! Olivia's head/hair is so fluffy, (that's the kind way of saying big), that sometimes is difficult for her to get her clothes over her head. So rather than helping my child, what do I do......GRAB THE CAMERA!! She was fine, have no fear, don't call DCFS on me! I LOVE YOU O!!! And one day she is really going to appreciate me showing the last picture on the Internet with her butt cheek hanging out. On a side note, look at her beefy/toned legs. She is solid muscle!!!